FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH: “Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? … The temple of God is holy, which temple ye are (1 Corinthians 3:16–17). Your body is sacred. Respect it and do not defile it in any way. … The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord’s standards will not change. Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings. Young women, if you desire to have your ears pierced, wear only one pair of earrings.” –from the “Dress and Appearance” section of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet. [source]
COMMENTARY: During his lifetime, Jesus got several body piercings. He liked them so much that he decided to keep them even after he got resurrected. What’s troubling, though, is why he would have eternal piercings and still tell other people not to get any piercings. My guess? He’s just jealous. He wanted to be the only badass with extreme body modifications. That, and he doesn’t quite know what to do with a girl with nipple rings. But what do I know? I’m just another apostate.